Say no to get control of your life!

Do you find it hard to say no to others? Always being agreeable might be nice on the surface, but it can have serious consequences. Here are four tips to make it easier to say no.

The word no is the most powerful word you can use and not being able to say no can bring disaster.

Bosses who can't say no will create confusion. If you tell everyone they can take next Friday off, you'll have an empty office. The employee who can't say no loses out. You will take on more tasks than you can handle. Even worse, your boss may spot you as an individual who lacks self-respect and initiative and will pass you over at promotion time.

In the family, if you say yes to a beach holiday when you would actually prefer the mountains, your disappointment can grow into resentment, spoiling the family outing.

Saying yes all the time can also threaten friendships. If you end up doing things purely out of obligation, you might end up resenting the very people you need around you for support.

Bank Managers can't say yes to everyone who applies for a loan. Coaches can't let everyone play, no matter how much the wannabe athletes plead. If you own a business, you cannot let all of your customers have an additional ninety days to pay or you would go out of business. We could list many more examples...

Perhaps you are wondering how you can say no without sounding rude or jeopardising relationships? Use these tips:

1. Assure the person that you respect his or her request, and that your decline isn't personal. "Sounds like a very good project, yet my busy schedule won't allow me to participate." 
2. Explain why your refusal benefits both of you. For example, declining membership on a committee, you might say: "I'm going to be traveling extensively over the coming months. If I accepted, I couldn't attend meetings or arrange events. You'll benefit more by getting someone who will be available." 
3. Invite the other person to help you make the decision. Let's say your boss gives you a big assignment. You might respond with: "Here's a list of what I am working on already. If I take this new assignment, I'll have to drop something. Please tell me which projects deserve top priority."
4. If you can't do everything someone wants, offer them something in return: For example, "No, I can't be responsible for four programs next month, but I can take control of one if that will help.

Whatever strategy you choose, it is vital that you protect your life balance, your integrity, and your relationships by declining when you need to. You will be amazed at how much a two-letter word can improve your life!

If you are interested in how hypnotherapy could help you gain that all important confidence to take back control of your life, please contact Christy at christy@christyhypnotherapy.com or call 01252 334377.