How can I help my child who worries about everything?

Parents. Your lives are busy and you have a million and one things on your plate. You have to juggle work, relationships, social life (lucky you!) and all the pressures of family life.

And then there are your kids.

However old they are, their world can sometimes seem pretty straightforward to us adults. They have school, friends, hobbies and family. How hard can that be?

But actually, growing up can be a pretty challenging minefield to navigate. And for many children today, worries that might once have felt like occasional childhood fears can become a much heavier burden.

The statistics around children's mental health can be alarming. The latest NHS England figures show that in 2023, around 1 in 5 children aged 8–16 in England had a probable mental disorder, rising to almost 1 in 4 among 17–19-year-olds. These difficulties can also have a very real impact on everyday life. Children with a probable mental disorder were around seven times more likely to have missed more than 15 days of school.

And behind those statistics are real children who may be struggling with worries, fears, sleep, friendships, school or simply the pressure of everyday life.

So, how can you help a child who seems to worry about everything?

First, understand that worry isn't necessarily the enemy.

As parents, our instinct is often to try to make the worry disappear.

"Don't worry."

"There's nothing to be scared of."

"You'll be fine."

And of course, we're saying these things because we care. We desperately want our children to feel better.

But sometimes, telling a child not to worry can unintentionally make them feel as though they're doing something wrong by feeling worried in the first place.

Worry is a normal human emotion.

Children need to learn that feeling worried doesn't mean that something bad is going to happen, and it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with them.

Instead of trying to eliminate every worry, we can help our children learn to recognise it, understand it and develop ways of responding to it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To receive my latest information sheet on 'How to help the child who worries about everything' with some specific pointers about what you can say to your child at home, please email at info@christyhypnotherapy.com and I will send you the full article.

If you'd like to find out more about how I work with children and young people, please get in touch by calling 07920 755660 for an informal conversation.

Christy Hypnotherapy
Supporting confidence, calm and positive change.

15 years helping the people of Surrey and Hampshire

August 2026 marks the 15th anniversary of Christy Hypnotherapy!

Rather than thinking, “I can’t believe I’ve been in practice for so long,” it is now difficult to remember life before hypnotherapy. So much has changed over the past 15 years, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have worked with so many wonderful clients. I have also had the privilege of meeting fantastic people within the industry, forming valuable business connections and lifelong friendships along the way.

When I qualified as a professional hypnotherapist and established my practice in 2011, I wrote a short biography for my website. It explained that, while qualified to help people with a wide range of concerns, I specialised in supporting sportspeople to enhance their performance.

That remains true today. However, over the years, I have found that even when a client initially comes to see me about their sport, we often need to explore other areas of life too. Anxiety and stress rarely stay contained within one area: worries at work can spill over into family relationships, friendships and sporting performance.

This is not a new idea, but it can be easy to become so caught up in daily life that we do not fully recognise the extent to which stress and anxiety affect us. My passion is using the techniques I have developed through studying psychology, hypnotherapy and NLP, alongside 15 years of practical experience, to help people across Surrey and Hampshire achieve what they may once have believed was impossible; in their personal, professional and sporting lives.

If you would like a free, no-obligation telephone chat with Christy, please call 07920 755660 today.

New Year Resolutions: Plan for lapse, not failure

We are now mid-January and you may have noticed something familiar beginning to happen.

The gyms are a little quieter. The alcohol-free drinks feel less exciting. The business idea notebook hasn’t been opened in a few days. And a quiet, uncomfortable thought creeps in:

“I’ve already messed this up.”

Every January, many of us make resolutions with the best of intentions, perhaps to drink less (or stop altogether), to get fitter, lose weight, change careers, or finally start that business we’ve been dreaming about. And yet, just a few weeks in, a lapse happens. A missed workout. A few drinks. A day (or week) of procrastination.

For many people, that lapse is interpreted as failure. And that interpretation is what causes some people to abandon their goals entirely and slip straight back into old habits.

The problem isn't the lapse, it's how we think about it.

When we decide to change any behaviour, we often imagine the journey as neat and linear: motivation at the start, steady progress, and eventual success. But of course human change simply doesn’t work like that!

Change is messy. Motivation fluctuates. Life intervenes. Old habits, especially ones that once served us, don’t disappear quietly.

A lapse is not a sign that you lack willpower or commitment. It’s a sign that you’re human.

The real problem arises when a lapse turns into a story  and you find yourself saying "I always do this" or "There's no point now". Once that story takes hold, people often give up altogether, not because they CAN'T change, but because they believe they already blew their chance.

One of the most powerful mindset shifts you can make is this:

Don’t plan for perfection. Plan for lapses.

If you expect yourself to never wobble, you’re setting a standard that no one consistently meets. Instead, assume that at some point you will slip and decide in advance how you’ll respond when that happens.

This changes everything!

Try asking yourself:

• When I lapse, how do I want to talk to myself?

• What’s the smallest action that will help me re‑engage?

• What usually helps me regain momentum?

When you’ve answered those questions, a lapse will no longer knock you off course.

Think re‑engagement

The language you use really matters. When people think in terms of “relapse,” it can feel dramatic and final as if you’ve fallen all the way back to the beginning. In reality, most lapses are temporary pauses, not total reversals.

So a more helpful question than “Why did I fail?” could be “What will help me get back into action?”

For some people, it’s structure. For others, it’s support. Sometimes it’s reconnecting with the reason they wanted change in the first place.

Remember even a small step can restart the cycle.

Building kindness into your plan

Many people believe they need to be hard on themselves to succeed and that if they let themselves off the hook, they’ll never change.

But self‑criticism rarely produces lasting behaviour change. More often, it leads to shame and shame tends to drive the very habits people are trying to escape!

Kindness to yourself doesn’t mean lowering standards or giving up. It means recognising that change is challenging and treating yourself with the same understanding you’d offer someone else.

Try replacing your language such as “I’m useless, I’ve ruined it” with "This is hard, and I’m learning”.

That shift alone can be the difference between stopping altogether and continuing imperfectly.

Progress is made by returning, not by never slipping

People who successfully change long‑term habits are NOT the ones who never lapse. They’re the ones who return again and again without making the lapse mean something awful about themselves.

So if it’s mid‑January and your resolution already feels shaky, this is not the end of the road. It’s a normal moment in the process.

Pause. Reset. Be kind to yourself.

Then take the next small step forward.

Because lasting change isn’t built on perfection. It’s built on persistence, self‑compassion, and the willingness to begin again.

Are AI tools really changing the way mental health therapies are provided?

Like it or not, AI tools appear to be reshaping the way mental health services are delivered. The main benefits are that they help to expand access, enhance personalisation, and support the therapists and clinicians in their work. But could AI actually replace the therapist altogether?

There seem to be many positives to both therapist and client - AI-powered chatbots and virtual assistants now have the ability to provide immediate, low-cost support to individuals who might otherwise face barriers such as long waiting lists, high costs, or geographic limitations. These tools can guide users through evidence-based exercises, offer coping strategies, and even detect when someone might need urgent human intervention. By lowering the threshold for seeking help, AI makes mental health support more accessible and reduces the stigma some people feel when reaching out for care.

For clinicians, AI is becoming a valuable partner in diagnosis, monitoring, and treatment planning. Natural language processing can help analyse patterns in speech or text to identify early signs of depression, anxiety, or other conditions. Machine learning models can also track patient progress over time, flagging changes that might indicate relapse or worsening symptoms. This data-driven support allows mental health professionals to focus their time where it’s needed most—on human connection and therapeutic work—while AI manages routine monitoring and insights. 

One of the biggest risks of relying on AI alone in mental health care is the loss of genuine human connection. While AI tools can offer useful support, they lack the empathy, intuition, and 'gut-feel' understanding that a trained therapist brings to the table. Without human intervention, there’s a danger that someone might feel unheard or misunderstood, especially when dealing with complex emotions or trauma that require sensitivity and deep listening. AI can also miss subtle cues in body language, tone, or context that a human therapist would pick up on. In the worst cases, this could mean overlooking signs of crisis or giving generic advice when tailored, compassionate guidance is needed. 

In summary, my view is that mental health support works best when technology and human care work hand in hand. So, while ethical concerns around privacy and empathy remain, AI is not replacing therapists but rather complementing their expertise, helping create more proactive, efficient, and patient-centered mental health care. It's becoming more readily accepted that AI can enhance the process, but it cannot replace the healing power of real human connection.

If you have had experience of working with AI powered mental health support, I would be delighted to hear your views and feedback. Please get in touch: christy@christyhypnotherapy.com

x

Let’s Talk: Men’s Health Week 2025

Hey guys — and everyone who supports them — it’s that time of year again: Men’s Health Week, running from 9th to 15th June 2025. It’s a time to hit pause, check in, and shine a spotlight on an area of life that often gets pushed to the bottom of the to-do list: health — especially mental health.

Why Men’s Health Week Matters

Men’s Health Week is about more than just hitting the gym or eating more greens (although, yes, those are great too!). It’s a chance to raise awareness of the unique health challenges men face — and to remind men everywhere that looking after yourself isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.

Men are often conditioned to “man up,” push through, or deal with things silently. But that stiff-upper-lip mentality can be dangerous. The reality? Men are less likely to seek help for mental health issues, and suicide rates among men remain alarmingly high in many parts of the world.

Let’s Talk Mental Health

Here’s the truth: mental health is just as important as physical health — and it affects every part of life, from relationships to work performance to overall wellbeing.

Whether it’s stress, anxiety, depression, burnout, or simply feeling overwhelmed, no one is immune. And yet, many men struggle in silence. Maybe it feels like admitting you're not okay means you're weak. But it’s actually the opposite — recognising you need support and reaching out takes real strength.

This week is about normalising that conversation.

What You Can Do This Week

Here are a few simple ways to mark Men’s Health Week — whether it’s for yourself or the men in your life:

• Check in with yourself. How are you really feeling? If you're running on empty, it’s okay to slow down.

• Talk to someone. A friend, a partner, a coach, a therapist — opening up is a game-changer.

• Get moving. Exercise helps not just your body, but your mood and mindset too.

• Book that check-up. If you’ve been putting off a doctor’s appointment — now’s the time.

• Support a mate. Reach out to a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. A simple “How’s it going?” can mean more than you think.

It’s Time to Break the Silence

Men’s Health Week is your reminder that you don’t have to carry everything on your own. Whether you’re navigating a tough time or just want to stay in good shape mentally and physically, you’re not alone — and there’s no shame in seeking support.

So here’s to speaking up, checking in, and taking care. Not just this week, but always.

Because real strength isn’t about keeping it all inside — it’s about taking action to live well.

---

If this message resonates with you or someone you know, don’t let the week pass by unnoticed. Start the conversation. Share the blog. Let’s keep breaking down the stigma — together.

#MensHealthWeek2025 #MensMentalHealthMatters #ItsOkayToTalk #StrongMindStrongBody

When we 'SHOULD' all over ourselves...

 How often do you 'should' all over yourself? There are many reasons why we say should... "I really SHOULD do the housework" or "I really SHOULD get around to learning a new language" or even "I really SHOULD stop smoking"...

Are you even aware you are saying this? And do you know why you are saying this to yourself? In reality we say "should" far more often than we realise.

So what is the point of saying we "should" do something? Well it implies we know there are things we could do differently in our lives and also that these things are probably for our own benefit (for example, it gets stuff done or it stops us doing things which are bad for us, like smoking or overeating).

So when we say SHOULD to ourselves, we are basically telling ourselves we acknowledge there is something we could do differently. The trouble with the word SHOULD is that it makes it feel like a chore, hardship or even as though someone else is telling us to do this thing. Have you ever noticed how someone looks when they say "should..." to themselves? They usually shrug their shoulders in resignation, roll their eyes or even back away. This is the body language of someone who is not very committed to what they are saying!

My opinion is that this word should be permanently removed from our vocabulary and banished forever! It provides us no purpose whatsoever as it hardly ever leads to action. All is does is make a person feel even worse about not doing the thing they "should" do!

My advice is simple... whenever you notice yourself saying the word 'should' about yourself, STOP. Remove the word 'should' and replace it firstly with 'WANT'. 

So for example, if you are saying "I SHOULD learn a new language", instead say to yourself "I WANT to learn a new language". If you feel at all uncomfortable with this then chances are you don't actually want to! If that is the case, DON'T. If you don't want to do something, chances are you won't be committed to it and you won't actually do very well. Sometimes we realise there is a NEED to do something, like learn a new language for a job or to move to another country, but if there is no actual need, don't waste your time and energy! Likewise, if you try saying, "I WANT to stop smoking" but in actual fact this isn't true (perhaps someone else is telling you to stop but you really don't), then you are not likely to be successful in your attempts. 

If however your answer is that you do want to do this, then move to adding the word 'CAN'. In our previous example, you would then say "I CAN learn a new language". Any human being has the potential to learn a new skill, so this is always yes. Interestingly the same would be true of the question of CAN you stop smoking or CAN you lose weight. The answer is always yes.

Finally, we move onto the word "WILL". Once you have established that you WANT to do something and that you CAN do it, the "I WILL" comes as a natural progression. Once you get to the point of being able to say "I WILL..." there are actually no more obstacles to action. 

Think how much for positive it is to say "I WILL learn a new language, or I WILL stop smoking" rather than "I SHOULD..." do these things. It not only makes the thing sound like it is definitely going to happen, it also puts you in a far greater position of personal power.

So, stop "SHOULD-ing" all over yourself!

Post-Lockdown anxiety - be gentle with yourselves!

 The end is in sight... after more than 12 months of the world going in and out of some kind of lockdown, it would seem that the end of lockdowns, closures, distancing and isolation is now something we can all start to look forward to. But is it that simple? Can we all simply drop back into our lives and pick up from where we left off?

Regardless of the social distancing measures which may remain in place, the UK and other countries are now looking at roadmaps of ways we can start to return to as normal a life as possible. For many this is fantastic news meaning we can start to see friends and loved ones again. At the same time, this 'return to normality' also brings with it anxiety. Even for those who would class themselves as having good mental health, the prospect of going back to busy work schedules, children's activities, social gatherings etc. is actually bringing up anxieties about how we will cope with these situations which, in pre-lockdown times, were just 'normal life'.

So what is going on here? Surely everyone can't wait to get back to normal life?

Not so. For the past year many of us have had to cope with huge change to our daily activities and routines and this itself was difficult to adapt to. After such a long time of having to live this way, the prospect for some of having to go back out in the big wide world is just as daunting. In adjusting to a new set of rules (many of which have been imposed upon us rather than a conscious decision we made ourselves) these new rules about how we must behave have become ingrained in our lives. "Don't get too close to other people, wash your hands as much as possible, wear a mask wherever you go, don't hug people..." etc etc.

And these rules have had a hard hitting life-saving message attached to them... Save lives.

With the end of some of these rules soon to come into play, we are once again having to adjust our mindset to the prospect of being able to socialise again, to share our space and air with others, albeit limited at first. Having changed our minds to one approach, we are soon going to to have to start to change this again. As adults, we have the intellect and rationality to decide what we are comfortable with (within the boundaries of the current restrictions) and make our own minds up about what we do and when. But for those who HAVE to return to the workplace after having worked from home for perhaps a year, I know some people who are simply not comfortable with this and are getting seriously anxious. Similarly, for some of my Mum friends, even the prospect of mixing with others for family gatherings, social engagements again is bringing an unexpected level of anxiety. the thing we yearned for is now becoming something we fear?!

Now consider children and young people in the equation. Kids are like sponges and are quick to adapt and change to their environments. They do however like to have consistent rules and guidelines or they quickly become confused. Confusion leads to anxiety and excess anxiety can lead to depression, even in young children. We are told as parents to keep household rules consistent to avoid badly behaved children. The past year has put our young generation through more change than we can imagine - in and out of school, being able to see friends and then isolated away. This is bound to lead to behaviour changes and I have seen first hand the effects this can have on kids. 

In the months (and perhaps even years) ahead, we must all pay careful attention to our own levels of anxiety and make sure we be kind to ourselves in terms of what we expect from ourselves (and others, particularly our children). Some people will inevitably have expectations forced upon them of what they need to do, however no one should underestimate the impact on our mental health and we need to realise that we can all be affected in different ways by the changes which we will see as the restrictions begin to be lifted. Above all, be gentle with yourselves!

If you are struggling with your mental health and would like to find out how Hypnotherapy could help, please get in touch with Christy for a no-obligation and confidential chat. Email: christy@christyhypnotherapy.com